Monthly Archives: November 2011

THINK ABOUT THIS FOR A MINUTE

Just an observation I made as I was writing the review for last night’s Hell Yes Fest kickoff:

Republic gets a bit of pushback from locals for catering to that college/JP/Metairie/Kenner/Fat City set some nights. What people are failing to observe is that those nights that a lot of urban locals turn their noses up at make that venue money so they can do really awesome things like house nights of fledgling festivals like Hell Yes and other events that many locals claim to support. The staff that runs it is kind and thoughtful and are truly supportive of locals hosting local events there. I’ve certainly never seen this type of enthusiasm for small shows from a venue that could’ve easily booked a band or a DJ instead that would draw in several hundred people at the door.

They are an extremely reliable, organized, community-supportive venue that has earned my respect. I love Republic and its staff and maybe you should reconsider your feelings about it.

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GREATEST PRESS RELEASE OF ALL TIME OF THE DAY

My friend Taylor over at Barryfest.com sent me this press release for a band called Stomach Pump. This band is having a reunion show this Sunday at the Hi Ho Lounge, but that’s not actually what this post is about. This post seemed necessary after reading what I’ve deemed to be the BEST PRESS RELEASE I’VE EVER READ. The reasons are myriad and probably not very funny if you’re not a huge music nerd, too. Good thing I have a lot of friends that are.

Reasons this is the best press release I’ve ever read are as follows:

1. This weekend, I overheard Taylor mentioning “Australians in Europe”, to which I commented to another friend, “I can never tell if Taylor is talking about bands I’ve never heard of or if he is talking about things that happen in real life.” Turns out, he was talking about actual Australian nationals on the continent of Europe. Honest mistake, too, because Taylor knows more about music than pretty much anyone I know. However, we managed to create this fictional band and give them their first hit single, “Winetime”. The conversation, as are many conversations I have with Taylor, was a hilarious success.

2. Keeping that in mind, I got an IM from Taylor earlier asking me if I ever heard of Stomach Pump, to which I responded “Is this that thing where it could either be a band I’ve never heard of or a thing that happens in real life.” Turns out, it’s an actual band. (It’s the aforementioned band with the reunion show at the Hi Ho this Sunday.) That led to him sending me this press release, which is pretty fantastic.

3. Things that are actually great about this press release:

  • Jack Blood has a hotmail.
  • His name is Jack Blood.
  • THE NAMES OF THE GUYS IN THE BAND.
  • The mention that their video for “Einstein’s Brain” was “voted Top 10 best videos of all time on the cable show “Bomb Shelter Videos.'”
  • The inclusion of famous quotes about the band, particularly:
    • “The Only band worse than Flipper ” – Jim Norris (RIP) Crisis Party Bassist
    • ‘I Fucking hated that band” – Chris Cornell – Soundgarden
  • Log clench.
  • The “alleged” last show (which blows my mind because shouldn’t they know what their last show was?) was with THE BEVIS FROND. The fucking BEVIS FROND, MAN. Sidenote: When I read that I got all nostalgia-y and started listening to Mary Lou Lord’s Got No Shadow because making connections to heartbreaking memories is what I do. It’s like that Kevin Bacon game, but my gift is connecting obscure Seattle grunge bands from the 90s to my biggest regrets in life and then crying quietly into my bowl of dinner cereal.
  • Finally, the closing warning that you, me and the NSA are in violation of the 1st and 4th Amendments simply by reading said press release. Also, discovering that I enjoy my press releases with a dash of unprotected rights to free speech and illegal search and seizure.

Hope to actually see you at this show. It’s a fundraiser, too. Also, hope to see all of you keeping up with Barryfest.com and @BarryfestNOLA. Matt & Taylor know what the fuck is up with local and touring bands 100% of the time.

So, for all this, I present to you the Stomach Pump Press Release, Greatest Press Release Of All Time Of The Day.

FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

October 25th 2011

Contact: jackblood@hotmail.com

RE: Available for ALL Press interviews (Seattle Grunge scene 20 years after / The return)

 

THE RETURN OF “STOMACH PUMP”

The most infamous and sick Seattle noise grunge band you never heard of is BACK.

We were 20 years ahead of our time so we thought it would be good to reform (RETURN) and unleash our sounds to the world” said JCX9, singer of the immortal band. “You couldn’t kill us, we couldn’t kill us” added Max God, bassist. “We were a gag band… We literally made people throw up in their mouths”, added Duff Drew, Drummer.

Formed in the late 1980’s in Seattle from the ashes of historic bands such as ‘The Thrown Ups” and “My Eye” Stomach Pump first recorded with legendary Sub Pop Producer Jack Endino.

This recording resulted in the band’s first hit “Einstein’s Brain”, of which the 16mm B/W video was voted Top 10 best videos of all time on the cable show “Bomb Shelter Videos”. About 50 more songs were recorded with Mr Endino in 3 total sessions. Legend has it that Stomach Pump has over 1000 recorded songs. A highly collectible single was put out by “Penultimate Records” titled: Log Clench.

Band Bio and a sample of songs can be found at www.myspace.com/TheeStomachPump

 

Stomach Pump IS:

 

JCX9 – Front, Vocals
Seighton Beezer – Guitars, Hammers
Max God – Bass, Keys, Holes
Duff Drew – Drums, Cymbals, Cow Bell

 

Guitarist “Seighton” can be seen in several documentaries about the Seattle Grunge Scene, Including the film “HYPE!” and various new 20 year anniversary specials on the 20 years since Nirvana’s “Nevermind”.

 

Famous Quotes about Stomach Pump:


” The Only band worse than Flipper ” – Jim Norris (RIP) Crisis Party Bassist
“The Punk version of Spinal Tap” – Kurt Cobain (RIP) Nirvana
“JCX9 Taught us everything we know” – Lux Interior (RIP) The Cramps

“Every song they recorded was a one take Hit!” – Jack Endino – Producer
“Stomach Pump INVENTED the genre’ of Slop Pop” – Unknown
‘I Fucking hated that band” – Chris Cornell – Soundgarden

 

The alleged last show featuring Stomach Pump was Opening for “The Bevis Frond” and “Green Pajamas” in Seattle UNTIL NOW!

 

The original line up has reformed to play a reunion show in New Orleans at the The Hi Ho Lounge on November 13, 2011. The event wi
ll also serve as a benefit for several friends that lost their home in a fire recently. This is planned as a ONE SHOW ONLY for the band, who are flying in from NYC, LA. Seattle, and Austin TX.

 

Members of the band are available for interviews, and quid pro quo for publicity to promote the NOLA Show. Can discuss the Seattle rock scene, para politics, and the state of art today.

 

 

WARNING: Due to Presidential Executive Orders, the National Security Agency (NSA) may have read this email without warning, warrant, or notice. They may do this without any judicial or legislative oversight. You have no recourse, nor protection………. IF anyone other than the addressee of this e-mail is reading it, you are in violation of the 1st & 4th Amendments to the Constitution of the United States.

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